We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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