I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
