I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
