Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize