I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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