i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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