i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
