yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
