Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
