Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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