shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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