I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
