Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize