Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
