That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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