I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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