Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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