I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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