I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize