the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
