i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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