dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
