My balls are so social today.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
