So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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