How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
