the new term for farting is butt boxing.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
