kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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