i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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