He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
