you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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