i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize