Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
