you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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