I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
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