he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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