these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
