We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
