I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Your penis caused this!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
