dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
