then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
