hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize