I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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