So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
