I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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