She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
