The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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