tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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