***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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