I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
