it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
