Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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