I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
im having a threesome with these popsicles
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize