Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize