I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
