She went from zero to smokin in five shots
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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