good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
