i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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