i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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