i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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