Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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