my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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